How insolent of me!!

Ya ha..its 4.39 am in the morning but i still can't sleep as usual. Maybe it is because of Insomnia. Either way, i am still unemployed with lots of things on my mind. But, as usual, i am not going and moving any where. God, seriously, i don't know how it happened but i sure do hope that the ending is great. However, even a seven year old kid can predict my future if i don't start doing anything right now. Sooner or later, there is a big chance that i ll be engulfed by my own stupidity and enormous amount of procrastination that resides in me.

Owh. I had a fight with my mom last Sunday. The fault was on me. I borrowed her car and promised to return it by 11 p.m But i went on for supper with ma hommies in Kuchai Lama (Ibrahim Maju) and it went on up until 1 am. Heck, when i got back home, my dad was waiting for me in front of his lappy. He asked me where did i go? And i answered "Late night supper with Man and Abu". Tomorrow morning, as i had predicted, my mom straight away stormed into my room asking for her car keys. Well, she babbled about how i promised to return the car on time but failed to keep it. I was too sleepy to notice her and went on to continue with my nap.

After that, when she came back homw that evening, she gave me the 'LOOK' and did not even bothered answering my question. Heck! with my BIG EGO, i took my helmet, bag and straight away went out (without the usual ritual that i had for my mother before i went out). I got on my superbike and ride like a mad man on rampage. Obviously it was i mistake because i broke what i had promised her. But, still, she didn't have to act like that. Just a simple lecture would do the trick. I hate hearing people babbling about small things. Its not like i used the car to smuggle drugs or something. (I wish i had, at least its worth the scolding that i had for it :p).

I guess, i better apologize to her quickly. I don't want things to get colder if i keep it too long.Maybe i'll text her tomorrow. Or maybe i won't.

Justice is served!!

Ya ha..last week was like the craziest week i had..From the fight to insignificant drunkard that i had to take care off just because i had confessed to her that i actually like her. Well, life goes on as usual..I can consider myself as way past over the 'things' i had for that girl. Huraayyyy!! Okay..Enough babbling..Right now..i want to talk about what me and my hommies had discussed during our late supper last night.

The topic was about BROS before WHOS. The idea is seemed demented to me. The truth is guys would normally go for their friendship in any cases especially when it comes to an inch with girl's issue. What i was discussing with Hazman and Abu last night really opened up our mind and elevate our cognitive ability into a new level. You can consider it as an upgrade. The problem is why guys would always choose their bond and respect over their friendship above all else. I mean, sometimes, guys tend to neglect what is the right thing to do. They are more focusing on protecting themselves in the pack.

For an example, a guy wants to have fun in the 'usual' manner takes a girl that his group just barely knew. The problem arises from the start because that guy already has a girlfriend and he just want to mess up another girl's life by sweeping her off her feet. The dilemma starts when the girl fall for the guy and starts asking opinions from his fellow so-called brothers. We did not actually have the guts to say "Okay, he is in a relationship with a girl.i.e: he already has a girlfriend." The usual scenario would be the other way around. 99.9 percent would be us backing up our own friend that he can get laid and leave the girl to rot and die for all that he cares because his 'needs' are already fulfilled.

To me, its like the dirtiest thing that a guy can ever do in his life. Messing up a girl's life and his friends' life. Even though if the pack can actually predict what is going to happen, still we keep on giving our back to our friends just so he can use it as the way he see fits. I told to myself why we should have this kind of mindset? Its already 2009. We need a change in life and so does our mindset. A body cannot survive without the mind. So in a sense, if you cannot think, you are nothing more than a pile of shit that cannot do a thing.

The fact that we never had the guts to pull the trigger might even cost us more in the future. And if history was right, the result would be holocaust. It would destroy the very foundation of human which is doing what is right. I would say if the facts are there, the evidence points to one direction, what more could we say and do? Just pull the trigger and let justice be served. Let this be a quick and hard reminder that no matter what the reasons are, we need to what is right even we are putting our friendship on the line. A bold reminder to myself in the future..

The Eternal Sunshine on a Spotless Mind

Ya ha!!!..Its time for me to pour on some more crap in this episode..Wakakaka..Well, first, i jz did the most brilliant decision jz a few hours ago..I actually confess to that girl..Yea2..I know its a bit too late..but hey, better late than never right..Wakakak..And to tell the truth, i am a bit glad and proud with what i have done..Hee~. Hell, i am not expecting her to break up with my best fren and chose me instead..But i am expecting her to understand the real reason behind everything that i have done for the past few days...Hopefully, she will understand and most probably try to adapt to the situation..

Hurm, come to think of it, i was sad (Come on la, i am guy but that doesn't mean that i cannot tell what my feelings are..I am human too...DUHH!!) What i am feeling right now can be considered as something that is normal..So i was hoping that things will change starting from tomorrow. Hopefully, i can get her out of my mind..I know its hard..But, nothing is easy (Cliche gle!). I managed to talk with Adeb and told her about everything. She is one of the best friend that i have ever had in my entire life. (Jgn kembang Adeb, aq sepak punggungmu nnt :p). She managed to talk in some sense into me and it really felt good. I mean, i get to share my problem with my friend. I know it sounded cheesy and everything. But, that is the good thing about having a friend at your side especially at times like this.

Well, i guess now there are no particular reasons for me to get involve in this complicated and mind bursting relationship because i know its not going to work. So might as well i just move on and try to jump into another relationship or just put some effort into getting to know some new people. Hehehehe.. Maybe, i ll try straight away starting from tomorrow. Socialized more and i strongly and evidently believe that i ll be on the right track. I also need to put some effort and focus on completing my FYP (Final Year Project) if i were adamant to graduate and start on with my new life. Honestly speaking, i think, eventhough i am a bit thorough and contented with my current life, i still think that there are still many way to live it to the fullest....Hopefully, time will reveal what the future has to offer for me..

Sleepless moron part 2

Hell..this thing has been bothering me for the past few days..And to tell the truth,i fuckin HATE IT..why me? WHY?..Of all the people in this whole world, why me? Did i do something fckin stOOOOpid in my previous life (if there was a previous life)..I have been in this situation like more than 3 times kot..Seriously, its like it was written on my damn forehand (YOU ARE BOUND TO FALL IN LOVE WITH UR BESTFRENZ'S GIRL)...What the heck!! Give me a break..I was jz about to alter my mindset not to fall in love and remain fuckin single for this whole god damn year!!!..Then, suddenly, the feeling jz struck out of nowhere..I don't know which one is more pathethic..Is it the fact i was blessed with this curse or is it jz because i feel sorry for that girl..Damn..if there was ever a time that i need help..now would be great..I don't want to ruin everything jz because i had to entertain this feeling inside me..

I am not trying to be overrated or maybe i am..I jz spent 4 days with her and already i am in love with her..Jeez..it felt like fake..but i know that i can't stop thinking bout her..Damn..CURSE MYSELF....even though i had already talked bout this with one of my friends, the fact is..i jz can't get her out of my mind..I don't want to betray my fren..If only the solution is simple as CTRL ALT F4..then i guess i won't have to be mumbling bout this whole crap on the internet...I had try all of the options given by my frenz..but none of it seems to work..Maybe i was not trying hard enough..or maybe i refuse to let her go..I don't know whether my fren is going to take care of her or she is jz another victim that soon will learn about her own fate the hard way..I can't tell her about my frenz..It would be like BACK STABBING him straight on..I had experienced it once..Believe me..It was not great..AT ALL..In fact, i almost lose the whole pack..Luckily, the bond that me and ma hommies shared since our secondary time hold us together..

Is it wrong if i jz want to protect her..or maybe i jz should give my frenz a chance..who knows..He might change for gud this time..But what if what ever that is on my mind is right..Then, i had to blame myself forever for not protecting her by disclosing whatever that she should know..Its her right..RIGHT?

Sleepless moron

Ya ha..this is my first entry..hurray!!!!..Congratz to myself for having the time to create this blog jz so that i can share craps on the internet....Anyway, how cool can it be..we can actually say about anything on the internet and get comments from the reader..That is if only there are any readers who are actually have enough time to waste on reading the craps that you have to offer them. With a condition, the crap that u want to tell them must be interesting enough for you to actually attract them to read it..wakakakkakaka..

Well, here goes nothing..first thing first, i want to talk about my new fucking life that i had to endured since last Nov (2008). Well, at first, it started off jz as a part time activity for me and ma hommies. But now, it seems that we are kinda like on a rampage to destroy ourselves and at the same time enjoying every moment of it..How ironic can it be if i were to look upon it from time to time. Yet, we still keep on moving and keeping on a fix commitment to it without fail. Hell, i dont even know whether is there going to be any full stop to what we are doing right now or not. Sometimes, i wished that we had never made the stupid decision to change our life..but hell, the decision had already been made and now, the only thing that is left is for us to make major adjustment so that we will not be entirely consumed by our own stupidness. Still, there are some good things that we managed to plunder from all of this..Me and ma hommies managed to make a lot of frenz along the way..The best part is when our new frenz turned to be our foes at the end of it..i mean, not all of our new frenz..jz a few of them..Its not something that we cant handle..Its jz that things are happening so fast that we failed to construct a proper blue print on how to handle this kinda stuff..

Another bad thing that i managed to get from my new life is that i keep on procrastinating on my fucking final project paper..Which something that should have been completed by me months ago..What an ass of me for not planning to do my work early..Either way, the result is already out and i had received my punishment..Its time to learn that nothing works the way we want it to be..But at least we should give our best in doin it..And i must say that i didn't gave my best in that 'PART'...So the result is another semester for me to suffer alone in that forsaken place..Come to think of it, its not bad after all..Jz my mind playing tricks on me..wakakakkaka..(YEAH RITE)...Well, i guess, this is the end of my first entry..Tune in next time for another crap from me..( My next entry would be about how i actually fall for a girl and never did had the chance to actually confess to her..How fuck is that..To make things worst, that girl went on into a relationship with one of my best fren..DAMN...MY BIGGEST FUCKIN mistake..)